Top Ten Lessons Bama Boyz learned in Colorado!!!!

Day 1
Our trip kicked off with a fantastic journey across Kansas. As Keith fell asleep and I began the trek in the dark, a torrential downpour that the south has been missing, hit us head-on. With the powerful winds from the storm pushing and pulling the truck all over the road, it came as no surprise to find that all the stickers on our boats had been blown completely off. Upon arriving in Colorado, we made our first stop at Union Chutes in Denver. Due to the absurd amounts of snowfall on the Front Range we were stoked to discover that, for the first time in ten years, it was running at a high level. We put and both got trashed in the low head dam that looked great from the bank. Keith actually spent over a minute trying to figure out how to get out of the dam. The first wave we came upon looked perfect from upstream, however, after throwing a kickflip over the wave, I quickly realized that it had a hidden monster. The hole behind it was named Hollywood because if you made it out with swimming, you were a star. To my excitement, I landed right in it! But the price was paid with a substantial beat down. What made this so difficult for me was the fact that because my body was not quite used to the altitude, my breathing was restricted. Luckily, I made a fast recovery and was ready to tackle more.

The next hole was great but just a little flushy with some pain in store for us. It was here that we initiated our list: Top 10 Lessons Bama Boyz Learned in Colorado. I was on the bank taking a breather when Keith was getting out his boat. As he slipped and fell on the rocks, he actually landed on my ankles, spraining my right one as my heel was caught in the cockpit rim. Ouch!!!! As the pain slowly eased, it was time to throw it down in the best feature known as the Hawaii Five-O. This feature was semi shallow but the water was moving fast enabling us to perform all wave moves. Moves like the Felix, Donkey Flip, Kickstarts, Blunts, Backstabs, and McNasties all became possible in this hole. After throwing it down for about two hours and getting our thirst quenched after the long drive, the decision was made to head to Bear Creek, a low volume technical manky creek, whose takeout is located next to the Red Rocks Amphitheater, one of the most famous and beautiful music venues in the country. Bear Creek has five large rapids; the largest so correctly named, No Fun Falls, conveniently surrounded by signs reading “No Swimming”. Below was a great looking boof with one slight problem: the huge rock pile directly behind it. Of course, Keith would fly off the boof and land on the rock with me right beside him, thus bringing us Lesson #9: Always check for rocks behind great looking boofs.

It wasn’t until the last rapid that my first incident of the trip would commence. There was a tree at the top landing in a small eddy on the left tucked in front of a wall that ran down the left bank next to a 6 ft. drop. As I came off the drop my left blade got stuck on the bottom of the river while the right blade was caught against the tree. Lesson #10: Do not look at this sign on your first river and then lose your paddle. Oops! I actually stuck the one handed boof into the tiny eddy but watched helplessly as my paddle floated down the river. It washed into the left wall and then disappeared. I searched around for a while but no such luck. Swallowing my loss, my aching stomach led us to Woody’s Pizza: The best pizza in the world highlighted by the special Buffalo Chicken Pizza. Wow! With full stomachs and heavy eye lids, it was sleepy time! ZZZZzzzz….

Day 2
After starting the day off right with a great breakfast, Golden Whitewater Park would be our next destination. Golden Whitewater Park is located right next to the Coors Beer Plant. Suddenly surrounded by nothing but athletic, outdoorsy people, we knew we were in Colorado. It was at this park where we met up with newlyweds, Rob and Becky Beckman who brought along, Gator, one of the Shred Ready originals. The hole was shallow because the snow had not really melted in the mountains, however, for some unknown reason, it didn’t stop Keith from trying a left Phonics Monkey. Seeing as how this was our 4th year in a row to make this trip, I figured he would know it was too shallow to attempt most any move to the left. Apparently not! This brilliant move got the man stoned on the top of his head by a big rock – enter Lesson # 4: After buckling your helmet, do not hit your head on a rock. With the head injury in tact, Keith decided it was time to go to Lyon’s Whitewater Park, but unfortunately the head blow threw him off his game a bit. We were excited to find that the water levels were descent and the top hole was in at that location because it was there that we could throw Super Clean Cartwheels, Orbits, Lunar Orbits, Phonics Monkeys and much more. To our surprise an old Alabamian showed up at the hole. Dunlap’s’ Burly Jerky was there to cheer us on and give us some of his crappy jerky. Apparently he owed Keith money therefore; a bag of some really old jerky was used as compensation. Thanks.

Up next came one of the most beautiful sites of the journey. We headed to Rocky Mountain State Park which, as luck would have it, had just opened up the day before our arrival. The scenery was spectacular and if you have never been, you are missing out! 15 ft. high snow banks, elk, amazing mountains and crisp air made this, by far, the best stop yet. It was at this spot that Keith would highlight the trip by getting talked into bunny hopping the mountain bike into the snow. To his credit, he was unaware that the edge of the snow was five feet deep. I guess Keith’s daughter, Stephanie, and I should have warned him, seeing as how she had already fallen into it earlier. Whoops! Hello, Lesson #3: Always check the snow by the edge of the road. At last, we found camp and fell asleep fast because of the dropping temperatures.

Day 3
With Stephanie as a new addition, this trip would be a bit different than it had been in years past. Things tend to slow down a bit with a 13 year-old girl on board. We definitely had to show her a good time while being much more safe and considerate. With the warm weather topped off by a chilly wind, we decided to go to Water World in Denver, a huge manmade water park featuring many different rides ranging from 40 foot slides and tunnels to hot tubs and the ever popular lazy river. Oh, and let’s not forget the best scenery of all, which brings us to Lesson # 7 Always keep your eyes open for Colorado eye candy.

My most memorable experience of Day 3 was the ride named “The Revolution”. As we wound through a dark tunnel unsure of the outcome, we suddenly plummeted almost 75 feet into a huge round bowl. I learned that if I gathered enough speed I could make the raft go onto the sides of bowl. This is where I caught Stephanie’s priceless expression! The only downfall was the dynamic surfing wave was out of order. After a final day for Rob and Becky they were on their way home after a fantastic honeymoon but not before Rob and Keith got in trouble for standing up in one of the rides. After saying our goodbyes, we were led to Union Chutes for another session, which ended up being one of the best experiences of the entire trip. When we got down to Hollywood, Keith dropped in and got thumped, handing us Lesson #2: Always try and breathe while getting beatdown. It was there that Keith spent over 20 seconds getting trashed, gasping for air at ever small chance he got. Once he got out of the hole he was definitely ready to go downstream and get a respirator. The session was fantastic! Keith had some great all around rides and I was ecstatic about how much air I was getting on my entry moves. What a great third day! With much more to come we went to Gators to shower and crash. ZZZZzzzz!

Day 4
As we started the day, Keith decided bicycles at Red Rocks. Lower water levels led Gator and I back down to to take Stephanie to ride Bear Creek. The creek was significantly different due to the water falling. It was extremely shallow making our moves much tighter and landing on rocks. Thanks to one of the major slides, we learned Lesson # 1: When paddling with locals always carry a throwbag. Gator hit the rock at the bottom of the drop forcing him to swim, which would be number one of three for him that day. Guess he should have paddled a Habitat. Gator would piton the front of his boat leaving a huge dent. This smooth move earned him a delicious bootie beer. Yum! There’s nothing like drinking a beer out of the oh-so-tasty bootie.

Upon meeting back up with Keith we were told of a sign on the way into the mountain biking trail that read, “Trail Closed Due To Rattlesnakes”, yet another reminder that we weren’t in Alabama anymore. We decided to go check out the Pueblo Whitewater Park, home of the Guinness Book of World Records’ largest mural in the world. After three years in Colorado, Pueblo always reminded me of the Ghetto of Colorado. Because of our late arrival, we did not know where we were going to sleep. With very few accommodations options, we turned to the ever dependable Wal-Mart parking lot for an overnight refuge.

Day 5
Waking up to the site of 40 ft. murals was wonderful. The attention to detail that went into each and every one was phenomenal. I even had to stare closely on some to see what going on. Unfortunately the water was a little low but each feature still had great potential and all were shadowed by huge murals including one with the Grim Reaper and another with album covers from Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”. However, my personal favorite was that ofH Bob Marley.

After an exhausting session, we ventured toward Crested Butte, the world’s founding city for mountain biking, not to mention the wildflower capital of Colorado. Everywhere you look there is a wide variety of different color wildflowers. We decided to go just outside of town to kayak on Oh Be Joyful Creek, one of the most incredibly beautiful places with its wildflower fields, huge pine and aspen trees, snow packed mountains in the distance, massive waterfalls, wildlife, snow and beautiful blue skies. This was to be the place where Keith and I would meet up with the rest of the Bama Boyz: Charlie, Tyler, and Andy. Tradition in Alabama is to keep coming up with new nicknames for paddlers in the state. Upon seeing them I heard my newest one, “Tumbleweed”. This was funny to Charlie until he learned that his nickname was “Tossed Salad” which went along perfectly with Tyler’s nickname, “T-Bone”. This would be Charlie, Tyler, and Andy’s first run on Oh Be Joyful and what a memorable one it became. The first run went smoothly until we got to Oh Be Joyful Falls where Andy had an unfortunate mishap as he flew over the handlebars, landing on his face. Despite this minor accident, this location proved to be a good experience with clean lines until the last rapid. The last rapid is one of the most technical and demanding at lower water levels. There is a small room for error as Charlie soon found out. As you come over the horizon line you have to hit a hole and drive at the left bank. However, if you drive too quickly, you can slam into a hidden rock. It was here that Charlie came over the lip pointing too far to the left, causing him to piton not once, but twice. All that aside, it was a great run and after such, it was time to cook some hotdogs and go to bed at the conveniently placed campgrounds at the takeout.

Day 6
Opening the next morning with the perfect breakfast burrito found at a local store, we were off again. As the early morning sun lit up the perfect clear blue sky, we got to the put in one more on the Oh Be Joyful before moving on. On the first run down, Tyler forgot to run S-Turn right side up. He flipped at the lip, went over the drop upside down and rolled at the bottom. Ouch! When we got down to Oh Be Joyful Falls Keith got the pleasure of seeing has-been, Brad Hinds, go over the handlebars, land on his face, lose his paddle, and almost swim.

Getting to the end was time for the truck ride back to the top of the river. As we crested the top, suddenly, the sun disappeared and in less than five minutes, it was snowing on us. We got in the truck to avoid the snow and in twenty minutes the sun was back out warming everything up again. Gotta love the amazing Colorado weather! When the clouds cover the sun in Colorado, there is typically a dramatic drop in the weather. After three great runs on the river it was time for lunch where Keith would actually make me laugh until I cried. He made a deli sandwich with my favorite, pepper jack cheese. The only problem was Keith did not take the paper off the gourmet cheese and did not notice until half the sandwich was gone. All Keith could say after devouring half of the paper-covered cheese was, “I wondered why the sandwich tasted so funny”. I don’t think I have I have laughed that hard in a long time.

After a great visit in Crested Butte a.k.a. “Crusty Butt” it was time to start the drive over Monarch Pass to Salida. As we crossed Monarch Pass, it really started snowing on us and I captured my best time lapse to date. Because of the cold weather and brutal wind in the campgrounds, we decided it was time to get a motel room where we could get much needed showers and outlets to recharge all the camera equipment. A few chocolate cake shots later, it was time to go to bed. ZZZZzzzz!

Day 7
Our first session, each year, at Salida is always a memorable one as this particular hole is one of the most dynamic in the country making it possible to hit a wide variety of moves. There exists the ability to throw all aerial moves and all twisting moves, enabling unlimited combination moves. Due to the endless possibilities, I was chose to set up the camera and work on several moves for my new website in progress, Triktionary.com. As I put the camera on the tripod, tragedy struck as I watched it fall off into the water. I jumped in waist-deep and luckily caught the camera before it traveled down river. Though I was relieved it had not washed away, victory instantly turned to depression as I took my only camera apart to dry thinking of all the footage I had potentially lost. Keith told me that if you put the compressor in the truck, it would suck all the moisture out of the camera. Needless to say, I hung my water-logged camera from the ac vent, praying for a quick recovery.

After a great session of big moves including Tricky Whu’s, McNasties, Air Loops, Phonics Monkeys, Back Loops, and some nice combos, I decided it was time to go even bigger. I jumped into my Habitat 64 and threw a huge loop right off the bat, a perfect way to finish out a great day of playboating. Before heading to Andy’s rafting outpost, Keith went to Wal-Mart and bought a brand new video camera so the videography of our adventures could continue. Upon arrival at Andy’s, we heard through the grapevine that there was a Pimp & Ho party downtown sponsored by CKS. There was no way we were missing that! We watched and laughed as numerous drunken costumed people stumbled and fell all over the place. Yay for free entertainment! Finally reaching the campsite after such a long and eventful day, it was time to hang for a little while with the Bama Boyz and get some well earned sleep.

Day 8
Waking up beside the beautiful river in Salida, CO., a kayaker’s dream, added a perfect touch to an already amazing trip. Due to our loss of footage, it was the decision of the group to work on combination moves before heading back to Oh Be Joyful. Keith spent most of the day working on the Blunt 2 McNasty but ended up doing his own new move. Lesson # 8 Always try and learn new moves like the Thrutching Unhetero. After hours of watching Keith attempt to entertain us with his craziness, we opted to head back to Oh Be Joyful. This time we had acquired Alabama Boy “Mentone” Mike and it would be his first run down the most famous creek in Colorado. As I lead him down, things were running smoothly enough with no problems until S-Turn, a problem spot encountered earlier in the trip by Tyler. Mike landed in S-Turn and paddled into the eddy, lightly grabbing a huge slab of rock in the river right. As he clipped it, a piece broke off the wall and fell, landing on the front of his boat and paddle. I managed to move the rock just enough to get the paddle out from under it. We each examined the paddle and agreed that it may have created a problem in the bend, causing it to become a bit weak in spots. Mike even said, “I guess we will find out if it is weak, knowing the 25 footer is still downstream”. We eddied out above the 25 footer, so I could give him advice on how to run it. As I dropped off, he was right behind me. He penciled in with the paddle across his chest and, as we feared, broke the paddle right at the diagnosed weak spot. This was definitely a new one; weakening a point in a paddle by a light blow, forcing it to break in half so easily. Wow! Unfortunate for Mike, he had to get out as Keith and I continued to paddle downriver. As we reached the bottom, knowing Mike was unsatisfied with the incompletion of his fist run, we decided to get him another paddle. Our second time around, everything changed. On this run Keith decided he wanted to take a quick exit from his kayak below Oh Be Joyful Falls. With the fear of a beer bootie hanging over our heads if we swam, we paddled even harder downriver until we got to the last rapid. The last one, the manky one, is much more difficult in lower water. Because of this, I wanted Mike to be prepared so I gave him the line and peeled out. Mike followed closely, but as he went through the crux, he flipped and used every bit of strength he had to drag his shoulder and upright himself. To my surprise, he made it up but not without a price; a dislocated shoulder. However, thanks to the power of the river, his shoulder was forced back into place almost immediately by the rushing water. Despite Keith’s swimming and Mike’s injury, it was a great second run and after Oh Be Joyful and looking at Tyler’s huge bursa sack, we ventured back to Salida where Charlie would learn Lesson # 5: Always remember to buckle your helmet before entering river.

To my excitement, I ran into an old friend at Salida, a great paddler who, at his request, shall remain nameless. He was calling me out and saying he was going to kick my butt, but in the end I showed him who his daddy was. Though I was exhausted, I got back in the water to work on some of the following combinations I was thinking of: the Splitwheel 2 Phonics Monkey, Blunt 2 McNasty, Blunt to Front Loop, Backloop 2 McNasty, Backloop 2 Space Godzilla, Front Loop 2 Orbit and my personal favorite the Back Blunt 2 Phonics Monkey. After the best session yet, it was time to get some good rest which was much deserved on this day. ZZZZzzzz!

Day 9
After a great time all around, I had reached my final day to paddle with Keith Yell. We woke up and did a good session at Salida before heading back to Golden Whitewater Park. Everyone decided we should run the Clear Creek mainly because DK and Natalie Kellum had not ran it before. The rapids are fun and it was nice to watch Keith have so much fun on his last day. With boofs and tons of rock spins it was a nice leisurely trip down the river. At the major rapid I was too far left and dropped into the hole and got spanked. It was ironic considering I was watching out for the guy behind me when I got punished. Remember to always look downstream until after the rapid is over. At the end of the run suddenly a miracle occurred. My camera instantly came back to life and starting working again. Here was the highlight of my trip, knowing that I could continue to video the adventures of the trip. The funny thing was that it decided to wait until we had finished. Perfect timing. We this in mind, the filming continued along with the trip.

The final thing we learned in Colorado would be Lesson # 6: Never make plans, they are for losers. Because you can never predict the weather or what rivers are going to run in the great state of Colorado, my advice: Wing it and go with the flow. I would like to thank the following sponsors: Wavesport Kayaks, Gaia Paddlesports, Astral Buoyancy, Snapdragon Design, Shred Ready, Level Six, Werner Paddles, Fortress Watches, Alabama Small Boats, and Surface Dynamics for their contributions to make trips like this possible and enabling me to do what I love most.

Hope to see you on the river soon (If we ever get any rain in the south),

Jeremy Adkins

The Colorado 2007 Kayaking Video

Pictures by Team Kellum, Keith Yell, Jeremy Adkins, and Charlie Mix.